Stillness

Take a moment to become still as we begin this session:

Pay attention to your breathing, without changing the rhythm. Notice your breathing in . . . and your breathing out . . . notice the rhythm . . . the depth . . . the quality. . . the temperature. . . the feel of the air entering and leaving your mouth or nose . . . take three deeper breaths. . .

Scripture

John 21:4-12 NRSV

Just after daybreak, Jesus stood on the beach; but the disciples did not know that it was Jesus.
Jesus said to them, “Children, you have no fish, have you?” They answered him, “No.”
He said to them, “Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish.
That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on some clothes, for he was naked, and jumped into the sea.
But the other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, only about a hundred yards off.
When they had gone ashore, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish on it, and bread.
Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.”
So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, a hundred fifty-three of them; and though there were so many, the net was not torn.
Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” Now none of the disciples dared to ask him, “Who are you?” because they knew it was the Lord.

Reflection

The disciples are traumatised. The friend they had believed would save the world has been brutally executed, and they themselves are known collaborators. In their desperation, they have gone back to where it all began, back to fishing, but they have caught nothing. Even the lake reflects the sick emptiness in their hearts.

However, the darkness of Good Friday and the emptiness of the tomb are about to give way to a new daybreak and an unexpected fullness. They notice a stranger on the shore.

It’s a feature of almost all the resurrection appearances that the people to whom Jesus appears fail to recognise him. In this fishing boat on a sorrow-laden early morning, only one person recognises Jesus – the one ‘whom Jesus loved’. This suggests that we will recognise the risen presence through the eyes of love, and when we open these inner eyes, we will find the signs of resurrection all around us.

Inigo leads us into the miracle of resurrection in the Fourth Week, or stage, of his Exercises. He invites us to be present in prayer to the appearances of the risen Christ and to reflect on what resurrection means for us in our everyday lives. As always, our practical companion is eager for us to see resurrection not just as a historic event in which we believe, but as an ongoing dynamic reality that calls and enables us to live our lives to the fullest and truly grow back better from the trauma of the past.

Earlier in our Lenten journey, our life’s ‘boat’ was launched when Jesus stepped into it, and urged us to put out into deeper water. Now, as we draw close to the end of this journey together, he gives us another unexpected invitation – to put down our nets on the other side of the boat. This makes little sense by human logic. If there are no fish on one side of the boat, why would there be fish on the other side – and in such overwhelming numbers? But the disciples do as he suggests.

Perhaps this instruction, as we reflect on it in our own prayer today, is inviting us to look at life from a radically different point of view. Perhaps what we think is a stumbling block is, in fact, a stepping stone. Maybe the person who gives us the most trouble is the piece of grit in our oyster that has the potential to become a pearl. Are we being asked to pray outside the box?

But today’s reading promises that the time of frustration and hopelessness is nearly over. A transformation has taken place in the tomb, releasing a new energy capable of transforming the world. This is also a promise that transformation can happen in our own experience of darkness, disappointment, and the death of our dreams, but it asks us to change our way of seeing things and cast our nets from the other side of the boat. God asks us now to turn our hearts around, too, to create a different tomorrow, to ‘grow back better’ from all that life has taught us.

But right now, a stranger we already know but don’t readily recognise is preparing a barbecue on the shore. Are we ready to join him for breakfast?

Talk to God

There are signs of resurrection all around us – in the kindness of strangers, in the faithfulness of those who care for the sick and the lonely, in the food banks and the community volunteers, in the patience of teachers, in the simple exuberance of a child at play and the quiet wisdom of an elderly friend, in the new growth and changing seasons that our wounded earth continues to give us so unconditionally – in all of these and so many other ways, we meet the power of resurrection, and the spirit of the risen Christ. Where have you encountered the stranger on the shore this week?

What does it mean to you to ‘cast your net from the other side of the boat’? Is there any issue, situation, or relationship in your life that you feel God is asking you to see from a different perspective? Try holding up the mirror of prayer to this matter and see how it might look from the other side of your heart.

The time between Good Friday and Easter Sunday can feel like empty space, but it is precisely in this empty space that the miracle of transformation happens and new energy is released, like a butterfly from a chrysalis. Try bringing any areas of emptiness in your life into the light of the Holy Spirit. These places are your own Holy Saturdays where transformation begins.

Make a note in your journal of any moments this week when you have glimpsed the power of resurrection. As you look into the mirror of prayer, try expressing what you see, either in words or pictures. Take note of anything that surprises or upsets your expectations.

This week we might ask for the grace to see our circumstances through the eyes of love, to recognise the light of resurrection already dawning in our lives and our world, and to have the courage to cross to the other side of the boat and be open to God’s surprises where we least expect them.

Conclusion

What is love asking?
We have reached the end of our journey together, and perhaps have been challenged by a number of questions. The big question that weaves through everything else, echoing the great commandment, and which has reverberated all through the story of humanity, is this: ‘What is Love?’ Inigo also places this question prominently at the end of his Exercises, challenging us to ponder its depths as our lives unfold. He calls his challenge the Contemplatio ad Amorem, inviting us to consider how we might love God and one another with a love that reflects the Divine.

A key tenet of Ignatian wisdom and Gospel truth is that love reveals itself more in action than in words. The word ‘love’ has been seriously devalued in contemporary society. We use it loosely, and sometimes thoughtlessly, to express affection or romantic feelings, or even a preference for a particular food or fashion trend. The real deal is far more demanding. M. Scott Peck provides an invaluable key to understanding divine love when he asserts that ‘Love is not an emotion. Love is a decision.’ Or in the words of Samuel Johnson: ‘Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.’

This insight tells us that, however we may be feeling, we can choose, in every situation, to do the more loving thing, to act and behave in a kind and loving manner. This choice, this decision, doesn’t depend on our emotional state at the time, and Jesus tells us plainly that it applies to ourselves, our neighbours, colleagues, friends and strangers, and, crucially, even our enemies.

There are no exceptions, because God is the one in whom all have their being. To love God, as the first command requires, is to choose to act lovingly not only to each other, but to our living planet and all the life it sustains. We cannot claim to love God if we behave unlovingly to any part of God’s creation. Jesus also calls us to be especially aware of the demands of love in the way we relate to the poorest among us, the marginalised, the oppressed, the voiceless, helpless and exploited ones.

Love, it is clear, is the answer to every question we have considered during this retreat. Love asks us to live from our deeper ‘God-Centre’ and not from our shallow and self-focused ego-centre. It is Love that invites us to launch our lives into the deeper waters and follow Jesus through the events of his earthly ministry, modelling our own lives and values on his. Love is the heartbeat of the challenge of discernment, prompting us to make choices that reflect the very best we can be. Love asks of us that we let go of all that is impeding our soul’s journey, moving forward with empty hands so that we are free to receive all the graces that God still longs to give us. It is Love that calls us and empowers us to make the journey into darkness and death alongside Jesus in Holy Week, remembering that in our world and its perils, especially for the poorest, the marginalised, and the lost, every week is Holy Week. And it is Love who stands on the shore, showing us that the treasure we long for may be in the place we never thought to look. It is love who invites us to share breakfast, as a new beginning dawns for humankind and all creation.

A new dawn beckons. We can see the first glimmers of that dawn as we walk, wounded and fearful, yet grace-blessed and hopeful towards the One who invites us to breakfast. What kind of world lies beyond that shoreline? St. Paul reminds us (in 1 Corinthians 13:13) of the three things that really matter: ‘Faith, hope and love abide’.

Do we have faith? Not just creedal believing, but trust? Do we believe and trust that, by the grace of God, we can ‘grow back better’ from all that we have faced?

Do we have hope? I think we do, even though we sometimes feel we are hanging on to it by a slender thread.

‘But the greatest of these is love.’ This new beginning offers us all a new dispensation. We can choose to slip back into our old, essentially selfish ways, or we can choose to let love transform the way we live together on planet Earth and grow from the experience of loss and destruction, becoming a better generation of God’s children. Dare we ask for the grace to choose love, and to keep on asking ourselves: What is Love asking of me right now?

As You Travel On

Try applying this question to any situation in which you find yourself. ‘What is the most loving thing to do next?’ There are no easy answers. Sometimes love will ask us to intervene, perhaps to challenge an injustice; sometimes it will ask us to stand back and leave another person free to discover their own way forward. Love will sometimes be tender, comforting the afflicted, and sometimes it will be tough, refusing to allow ourselves or others to be manipulated or exploited. Love may come easily as we support our loved ones, or it may be the most challenging task imaginable as we try to be alongside someone who has hurt us or those we love.

God’s love is continually being poured out into all creation. How does the love we claim to have for God reveal itself in a corresponding love for our planet and all her life forms? How can we express this love in practical ways?

Look back over your journal or any notes you have made during the retreat. What graces do you feel you have been given as you have made this journey of prayer? What has changed in your life, your heart and your faith? How will you sustain this growth and respond in practical ways to what you have learned?

Two new graduates, standing on the dais at their graduation ceremony, were asked by the Dean ‘What are you going to do next?’ One announced the intention of making a world-changing breakthrough in medical science. The other replied, ‘I am going to turn left and walk very carefully down these three steps.’ Each of them had grasped half the truth. We are pilgrims of God, called and empowered to dream big, big dreams for the greater good of all creation, and to make them real on planet Earth. But we make them real by attending carefully to the next three steps we take, our next three conversations, interactions or choices, asking moment by moment: ‘What is Love asking me to do next?’

May God bless and guide all our steps, from this day forward, until God’s kingdom is fully birthed on Earth, as it is in heaven. Amen.