Presence

I come into your presence, Lord and I take a moment to clear my mind of all the conflicting thoughts about this decision I have to make. I hand this decision over to you and ask you to send me your Holy Spirit to guide me through this decision-making process.  I remain open to all options and possibilities that may arise from my feelings. Come, Holy Spirit and guide me on this journey.

Feelings

We’re all a bit like a pendulum, you know, where we have changing feelings. But those changing feelings have messages for us. The Night Prayer of the Church on a Saturday night has a Psalm that says, “You have put into my heart a greater joy than they have from abundance of corn and new wine”. 

On Saturday night, there is plenty of corn and new wine, and that’s okay, but that ancient poem invites us to recognise a greater joy. Something that gives you steadier joy, steadier peace than just ordinary enjoyment. What raises your heart? What raises your spirit? Notice it. Trust it. Your heart can be giving you a map, you know. A map forward through deeper feelings, more lasting feelings. Watch out for them.

Reflection

Feelings occur in us all the time and have a big influence on our lives. Sometimes they are pleasant, as when we are touched by the beauty of nature, or marvel at the goodness of people, or rejoice in wonder at the gift of life. At other times, feelings can be negative, as when we experience fear before an exam, or suffer anxiety about our health, or mourn the loss of a loved one.

St Ignatius, the founder of the Jesuits, asks us to notice our feelings and to take them seriously. In particular, he suggests that we pay attention to the feelings that draw us towards God, on the one hand, and those that draw us away from God, on the other. Feelings that draw us towards God he calls ‘consolation’; feelings that have the opposite effect he calls ‘desolation’.

Consolation does not always imply totally pleasant feelings. For instance, parents looking after a sick child at night may be irritated by the loss of sleep involved. Still, at a deeper level, they are at peace: they know that this is the right thing to do and that they can do no other. They are in consolation. On the other hand, a person could be indulging in all sorts of superficial pleasures, but deep down, feeling empty and dissatisfied. Despite appearances, that person would be in desolation.

Ignatius advises us to be aware of these movements within ourselves, to ‘discern the spirits’. Consolation leads us to genuine fulfilment: it prompts us towards oneness with God, others and ourselves. We should trust the direction it suggests. Desolation, on the other hand, is a warning sign that we are in danger of losing our way by making ourselves the centre of the universe! We should resist the urge to make decisions in times of desolation

Next Step

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6. Listen to your feelings. They might have something to tell you.