Session 5: Exercises in transformative living
Intro
Both Mary Ward and Ignatius found that their friendship with Jesus changed the way they thought of themselves. All our relationships change us in some way, and our relationship with God transforms us most of all, helping us to grow in love and freedom.
In the Gospels we see Peter learning through trial and much error to let go of his attachments. He was finally healed when he learned to accept his own inner poverty and the unshakable love that Jesus had for him, despite it all. We will hear about this in the Gospel of Luke.
Stillness
As we begin this time of prayerful encounter with Jesus we ask for the grace to focus and be still. In your mind, put all your hopes and desires for this time in front of you, and any burdens or distractions behind you.
Focus on what is before you and breathe in the Spirit of God who desires to fill all your being.
Scripture
Luke 5:4-11 NRSVue
When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.” Simon answered, “Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets.” When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to burst. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both boats, so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’s knees, saying, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” For he and all who were with him were astounded at the catch of fish that they had taken, and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.” When they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him.
Reflection
In the Spiritual Exercises Ignatius writes that the most important qualities in someone seeking God are openness, generosity and courage. We ask God to draw us close to Jesus so that in every way we can seek to respond to the love which first created us and which now wraps us round with total care and concern.
There may be disordered attachments which prevent us from fully believing how much Jesus loves us and that stop us experiencing that love. This may be something we compulsively cling on to. But we may also carry deep wounds from our early life or from some traumatic experience. We may have learned to judge ourselves in an endless inner ‘chorus of disapproval’.
Sometimes letting go of disordered attachments means finding the courage to accept healing for whatever is toxic and destructive in our lives, and learning to be more merciful with ourselves.
Conversation
Can you imagine the scene with Peter? Perhaps other encounters between him and Jesus come to you: walking on the water, refusing to have his feet washed, promising to die for Jesus and then denying him.
What do you think it was like for Peter to love Jesus so much and to keep failing him? How do you think he felt when Jesus kept loving him back?