Prayer for the Loss of a Loved One
Pause
Oh God, hear my prayer for the loss of a loved one. I know that you grieved and mourned, too, Jesus, which is why I know I can bring this loss to you. I know that even death is not too much for you, that whatever weight or shape grief takes, you can handle it.
Ask
I ask for your close accompaniment as I walk this new road – please do not leave my side. The loss of a loved one is a major life transition, no matter the quality or strain of the relationship that existed in life. I am entering a new, unknown territory. Do not leave me alone in this unfamiliar place. Be with me, walk with me. Please stay with me, God, as I navigate this season of loss.
Listen
I see a riverbed frozen over, cold and hard with the severe and inescapable arrival of Winter. In the warmth of Spring, the river transforms again—cracking and buckling from the change, before flowing onward again. The cycle of life and loss and life again is mirrored for me in the natural world. It is recognisable in the story of your living, dying and rising again.
Share
Jesus, this loss is a wound. It is affecting me in ways that I recognise, and in ways that I do not yet know. You, Jesus, are a wounded healer – your own wounds present and transformed in your resurrected body. Present even now, as you continue offering your sweet healing to us all, to me. Jesus, stay with me, be with me, as I take these steps on this new path of life after loss.
Reflect
Even in my loss, I feel your tenderness towards me. Thank you for your loving kindness, your companionship. For being with me through it all.
Amen
Pause Guide
What is it?
Pausing is slowing down, and considering where we are in this moment. It’s taking time out of our busy lives to spend time with the one who created us, who is waiting for our undivided attention.
Awareness of the Presence of God
We are aware that God is intimately present to everything, and especially to us. Jesus’ name is Emmanuel, which means ‘God is with us’. (from Finding God in All Things by Brian Grogan SJ)
Body Exercise
We become aware of what is going on in our bodies, in our minds, all around us, centering ourselves in the moment. Our attention is on what we are feeling, not on thoughts about our feelings.
We concentrate on the physical feelings of breathing in and breathing out, without deliberately changing the rhythm of our breathing. Breath in and out, in and out, giving everyone and everything to the Lord. Letting go of all our worries and concerns.
Practice:
Praying for our intention.
What are our thoughts? What is the motivation for our prayer? How are we called to pray?
Praising
“Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name”.
Jesus taught us how to pray – firstly by calling upon our Father in Heaven, and then by praising His name.
Ask Guide
What is it?
How do we ask the Lord for our intention, our desire, our need, a friend or family member’s need?
Jesus taught us how to pray in the Our Father
“Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Practice:
Humbly Ask
Bring our requests before our God, in humility, knowing that He will give us everything we need. Don’t be afraid to ask.
Philippians 4:19 “And my God will fully satisfy every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus”.
Matthew 7:7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you”.
Jeremiah 33:3 “Call to me, and I will answer you and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known”.
Psalm 37:4 “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart”.
Believing
We state that we believe in Him, that His kingdom will come and His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.
“Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven”
Listen Guide
What is it?
We have asked for our request. Now we listen to what the Lord has to say to us. We make ourselves available, giving ourselves the time and space needed to hear what God has to say.
God speaks through scripture, maybe the Gospel reading of the day, maybe he speaks through other people, through a thought, a book, a poem, through nature, through your imagination, or through a memory. There are so many ways God can speak to us. Be open to whatever way God chooses to speak to you today.
Be aware that the Lord often speaks through silence.
1 Kings 19:11-13 “But the Lord was not in the earthquake, and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire, and after the fire a sound of sheer silence. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. Then there came a voice to him that said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
Practice:
Listen to the Lord
Imagine that Jesus is sitting close beside you, waiting for you to give him time and space to hear what he has to say. He has heard your heart’s intention, now he wants you to be with him in mind, heart, body and soul.
Be aware of anything that may be stopping you from hearing God’s voice. You might find yourself going back over things that happened during the day like a quarrel, or self-judgement, or the temptation to criticise someone. Any negative emotion that comes to mind, repent of it and ask for God’s forgiveness.
“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation”
Stop Talking
Go back to your breathing and breathe the Lord in and out, in and out. The Holy Spirit is here, waiting to come to you, to speak to you.
Stop talking, out loud, or in your head. God has something for you to hear. What do you need to hear? Write down anything you hear.
Share Guide
What is it?
Sharing with God is talking honestly, just as we would with a dear friend. We can talk to any Person of the Trinity that we relate to the most. It can help to visualise the Person of God standing or sitting before us. Picture the face and gaze of God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit. This is a place to come just as we are, with no pretence – we can be totally ourselves before our God who loves us.
Practice:
Sharing with Jesus
Imagine sitting or standing close to Jesus. Speak to Him, in a soft voice, or in our heart, or in our mind, whatever way is more comfortable.
Saint Ignatius calls this conversation a ‘colloquy’, and says:
“A colloquy is made, properly speaking, in the way one friend speaks to another, or a servant to one in authority – now begging a favour, now accusing oneself of some misdeed, now telling one’s concerns and asking counsel about them. …. In the colloquies, we ought to converse and beg according to the subject matter; that is, in accordance with whether I find myself tempted or consoled, desire to possess one virtue or another, or to dispose myself in one way or another, or to experience sorrow or joy over the matter I am contemplating. And finally, I ought to ask for what I more earnestly desire in regard to some particular matters”.
The Spiritual Exercises nos 54,199
Reflect Guide
What is it?
We reflect on the journey we’ve made through this prayer time. How are we feeling now? Has our heart’s attitude changed? What did we hear from the Lord? Maybe we didn’t hear a specific word, but we feel peaceful, or joyful, or have hope for the future? Maybe we have a sudden reassurance that God is with us. We have never been alone and we never will be.
How is our heart now? Have we become less overwhelmed and more at peace? The Lord is here, now, listening, loving us.
Practice:
Believing without seeing
We are called to trust God, that he has our best interests at heart and that he loves us unconditionally. When we trust that he has heard our prayer, no matter what the answer, and believe without seeing the results, God is delighted with us.
John 20:29 “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”
Know that we are welcome in the Lord’s presence at any time and in any place.
An attitude of gratitude
1 Thessalonians 5:18 “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you”.
We are asked by God to be thankful in all circumstances. This might seem like an impossible task but when we make thankfulness a practice in our lives, we will find that something that might have appeared daunting and out of our control, takes on a different perspective. It’s our attitude that has changed but that changes everything. We no longer feel overwhelmed or that we have no control. We have no need to have control because God is in control.
Amen
No guide available for this prayer stage.