Life as a Gift

Why do we so often fail to see everything and everyone we are given as gifts? Why do we so easily mistreat others as though their love, loyalty and usefulness are somehow owed to us? I believe this failure of sight is our way of avoiding the vulnerability of love: Whether we are falling in love with a person, a community of people, a job, or a way of life, love makes us vulnerable. It is scary to fall in love and even scarier when I recognise that another person is not mine but God’s. Even the most faithful spouse is not mine forever, because it is possible that he may die before I do. My sweet toddler will grow up to have an independent life. My best friend could move away. When we let go of what we believe we are owed and focus instead on ourselves as recipients of unearned gifts, we become freer to forgive. Relationships stop being about what we are owed. Rather, they become interactions freely offered and freely given. This frees us to forgive.

Excerpted from The Ignatian Guide to Forgiveness by Marina Berzins McCoy (p.60)